New York

I want to see the snowfall in New York

An ever so bright city turning silently white

Like a virgin, nature toying with the city, powerful,

Collapsing under the innocence of the white flakes, falling down.

I want to feel the snowfall in New York

The city that never sleeps taking a deserved rest

Children, adults playing on the streets that

Once were so dangerous and cruel, killing softly.

I want to hear the snowfall in New York

The sounds that were once present

Sounds that slowly mute and disappear,

We, us, let alone in the innocence of silence.

And then we smile

Smile like we never did, because we are free

Laugh like we never did before, no one to care

And the snow keeps falling

Covering up the buildings, streets,

Trees, pavements, cars

And you hear the snowflakes, one by one,

Falling down, seconds, hours, days.

Nature’s purest gift of serenity

Uniting days, uniting you, me

Enemies become allies, friends become family

I want to see the snowfall in New York.

 - 27.11.2013

Home

The wind rages, consumes,

Taking everything on his path

And the rain pours, screams,

Bullets of heavenly water tearing down our street

And the thunder, mighty god of Thor,

The thunder roars and cracks against the almighty,

While clouds collide and collapse, sparkle,

Creating a static atmosphere to rest in

Rain turns into snow, white flocks of satin,

Whispering from the dark skies upon our door

Water turns into a lustrous layer of dark mystery,

Covering up all the fluids left in the night.

As I rush home, enter our door

Take off the coat that protected me from the storm,

Take off my woollen scarf and my wet gloves

Shudder, kick off my boots and enter

There you are, waiting for me, anxious for my return

My red cheeks reddening even more,

Take a few steps towards you, dying to keep you close

And forget all the rage of the forgotten world outside

And I hold you in my arms

And you’re warm

Cradle my head in your warm neck

‘Welcome home, love’, and you kiss me

And my world is on fire,

My burning heart bouncing happily for my return

Warming me with every single beat, and I smile

Blinds closed, fire on, together, home. 

If only

If only you could say
what the hell you want to say,
and get the hell out





and never look back.

living

Bouncy hair,

Blue jeans.

Playful eyes,

A bright smile.

It’s in the way she walks,

Completely alone in her own world

Ignoring us, ignoring all that’s left to be,

Happy in her head

Summer clouds around her,

Rays of sunshine follow her wherever she goes

Guarded from the gazes of people

Guarded from the past.

Beautiful, pink lips,

Blushed, white cheeks.

Soft, childish hands,

Piercing, intense glances.

You can see the brain working,

Looking for a solution, confusion,

Confusion in her eyes,

But then she smiles.

And her eyes sparkle, yes,

Summer pierces through winter,

And everyone does nothing but look at her,

At the amazing woman living her life.

No, she doesn’t react to the stares.

I wonder if she sees them, living alone

In her happy place in her head,

And she just continues walking, walking ahead.

Not does she bother to look back,

To look at the people she leaves behind,

Nor does she slow her pace,

The amazing woman living her life,

She.

what

I don't know what to do,

what to think,

how to feel.

I don't know what to say,

what to decide

how to think.

I don't know who I am,

who you are,

what we were.

How to stop these things from happening,

and not care about the world.

I hope to feel your warmth one day,

your arms tightly embracing me.

Telling me that everything will be fine,

not to worry.

But it wont.

Victim

Whisper,
But don't talk.

Caress,
But don't touch.

Gaze,
But close your eyes.

Resistance,
None.

My hands trace along the lines of your body
My prey
So innocent
So alone.

Your perfect skin reacts to the touch
The hair on your arms, legs
Disobeying the laws of gravity
And you shiver

Bite your lip
Whisper, moan my name
Desperately trying to touch my body
And you fail

My lips shortly on yours
In your neck
Your ears
I smile

And somehow you escape my thoughts
Overpower my little game
Me, a willing victim in the darkness
Under your greedy control.

take away

Take away my brief memories

Make me forget the unimportant things in life.

Take away the unrealistic, to-good-to-be-true version of me,

Make me realize what counts.

Take away my sorrow,

Make me feel happy and overjoyed all the time.

Take away my excuses, misinterpretations and losses,

They’re fake, and not worthy.

 

Take, take everything until I die,

So everyone can see my true soul. 

Take off the masks I wear in different surroundings,

To show me who I actually am.

Take away my clothes, underwear, make-up, my accessories,

Show the true beauty of the heart.

Take away my hair, my eyes, ears, nose and mouth,

All the inessential things that blind you from seeing me.

Take away my hearing, scent, taste, my touch, my sight,

All the inessential things that blind me from seeing you.

Take away the interpretation of me being tough and egocentric,

Tell me the truth: I am not.

Give me back my smile, my bright eyes

My length, hopes, my positivity

My happiness, my sadness,

My dreams, memories, creativity

Give me back me, myself,

A hug, a wave, a kiss

This is me.

memories

People change
so do thoughts.
But on the unguarded moments of the future
memories come, those of the past.

They hunt you down,
no mercy
create total chaos in the mind
like a wild storm.

And hope awakes
hope for return
of those times in the past
together.

There isn't enough distraction
to block out the memories and they come,
create a craving so deep
craving for the past.

Craving for someone, something
craving for just a call or a message
yearning for a hug, a kiss
yearning for you.

'come back to me'
is what I want to say
things will change
is what I want to shout

I want to hold you in my strongest embrace
never let you go
kiss you with the sweetest kiss
so show what I feel

tell you that we'll be fine
that everything will be right
as it should be
but it won't.

it takes two to form what's left of us
not just one
and hope and patience will always take its part
for now, tomorrow, ever.

Bill Withers - Ain't no sunshine

'Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she's always gone too long
Anytime she goes away'

Sky and Sand - Paul and Fritz Kalkbrenner

"in the daytime
you wil find me by your side
tryin' to do my best
and tryin' to make things right
when it all turns wrong
there's no fault but mine
but it won't hit hard
'cause you let me shine"

Change

I’m confused. I don’t know what to do. What to expect, what to feel. I don’t know how to react, how to handle. I don’t know who I am and what I do; I do not know the person staring back at me in the mirror. It’s new. The glow on the oval-shaped face is the perfect give-away of a small secret in her heart. The clear blue eyes sparkle, a sign of joy. The small smile that shows in one corner of her full, soft, pink lips show her guilt; she is not the angel you thought she would be. But see, she is new. New in a situation she is not familiar with, new with dealing with specific things. Because the sparkle in the blue eyes and the hint of that smile hide something deeper. See that frown on her forehead, hiding nothing but the fact that she is thinking. Yes, she is a thinker. Not just a thinker, but someone who thinks too much, going over all the details of the past. Digesting her life, processing her every action and the others reaction. In that she is still me, the old me. Before I met her. So funny how one simple thing can turn around your perspective and make the earth spin the other way. Like the north- and South Pole decided to switch places, like winter is the new summer and that all in reverse. The difference between the woman in the mirror and the girl in my heart has never been so small, but so big at the same moment. My insecurity overrules her certainty. Her craving overrules my conscience. Together our forces joined, like a child that is holding a teddy bear and refuses to let go. Like a mother in the passionate embrace with her small child who just got hurt. The mirror and I smile, and together we form the new me. The stronger me, the passionate me. The one who cares, the one who feels. No secret will ever be shown to the surrounding like it was before. No words that can give us away will ever enter my mouth and exit through my lips. My smile is still there, only bigger and more secure. My eyes still sparkle, my skin still glows. Deep down inside the transition is made and completed, without having effect on the rare exterior. And as far as you’re concerned: I’m still here. It’s still me. And I’m still waiting. Waiting for you.