War

I held her head against mine,

Our foreheads touching, staring in her eyes

As my hand lay in her neck, keeping her close

Swallowing back tears, trying to look confident.

I told her not to worry, that I would come back, I promised,

To come and safe her from all that there's to come,

Told her that I loved her, would always be by her side

And I kissed her, one last time.

The whistle blew, telling me I had to go,

Both trying not to cry, but instead smile

Pretending that all is going to be alright,

Whilst we both know that that is a perfect lie.

I returned to my seat, bags at my feet,

The woman next to me smiled warmly 

I smiled back, turned my head towards the window

Tears streaming down my face.

My heart opened itself and emotion came pouring out,

Shattered into a thousand pieces, I tried to forget her,

Forget her touch, warmth, embrace, kiss,

But she was burnt into my heart.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months 

And every moment she was in my thoughts,

The battle would continue, wars raged on as I fell, 

landed on grass, the white light came to get me, I was dead.

I thought heaven would be different, maybe because I'm no woman of god

I ended in a painful hell of waking and sleeping, as I heard their whispers,

And I screamed out her name, I promised I'd come back,

The pain in my heart grew bigger as I continued in my silent death.

I was awake longer and whispers turned into voices

I could hear them walk, and I realised that I wasn't in hell nor heaven,

As on one day my hearing fully returned and heard

The sound of her voice echoing through my head.

I was ready to open my eyes, and so I did,

It was hard adjusting to the light, brightly shining

I moved my hands, stiff from their long rest

Felt the warmth and weight of another hand holding me

And there she was, tears of happiness streaming down our faces,

I apologised for not keeping my promise, worried she wouldn't forgive me,

But instead she leaned over, cupped my chin

And kissed me. 

New York

I want to see the snowfall in New York

An ever so bright city turning silently white

Like a virgin, nature toying with the city, powerful,

Collapsing under the innocence of the white flakes, falling down.

I want to feel the snowfall in New York

The city that never sleeps taking a deserved rest

Children, adults playing on the streets that

Once were so dangerous and cruel, killing softly.

I want to hear the snowfall in New York

The sounds that were once present

Sounds that slowly mute and disappear,

We, us, let alone in the innocence of silence.

And then we smile

Smile like we never did, because we are free

Laugh like we never did before, no one to care

And the snow keeps falling

Covering up the buildings, streets,

Trees, pavements, cars

And you hear the snowflakes, one by one,

Falling down, seconds, hours, days.

Nature’s purest gift of serenity

Uniting days, uniting you, me

Enemies become allies, friends become family

I want to see the snowfall in New York.

 - 27.11.2013

Home

The wind rages, consumes,

Taking everything on his path

And the rain pours, screams,

Bullets of heavenly water tearing down our street

And the thunder, mighty god of Thor,

The thunder roars and cracks against the almighty,

While clouds collide and collapse, sparkle,

Creating a static atmosphere to rest in

Rain turns into snow, white flocks of satin,

Whispering from the dark skies upon our door

Water turns into a lustrous layer of dark mystery,

Covering up all the fluids left in the night.

As I rush home, enter our door

Take off the coat that protected me from the storm,

Take off my woollen scarf and my wet gloves

Shudder, kick off my boots and enter

There you are, waiting for me, anxious for my return

My red cheeks reddening even more,

Take a few steps towards you, dying to keep you close

And forget all the rage of the forgotten world outside

And I hold you in my arms

And you’re warm

Cradle my head in your warm neck

‘Welcome home, love’, and you kiss me

And my world is on fire,

My burning heart bouncing happily for my return

Warming me with every single beat, and I smile

Blinds closed, fire on, together, home. 

If only

If only you could say
what the hell you want to say,
and get the hell out





and never look back.

living

Bouncy hair,

Blue jeans.

Playful eyes,

A bright smile.

It’s in the way she walks,

Completely alone in her own world

Ignoring us, ignoring all that’s left to be,

Happy in her head

Summer clouds around her,

Rays of sunshine follow her wherever she goes

Guarded from the gazes of people

Guarded from the past.

Beautiful, pink lips,

Blushed, white cheeks.

Soft, childish hands,

Piercing, intense glances.

You can see the brain working,

Looking for a solution, confusion,

Confusion in her eyes,

But then she smiles.

And her eyes sparkle, yes,

Summer pierces through winter,

And everyone does nothing but look at her,

At the amazing woman living her life.

No, she doesn’t react to the stares.

I wonder if she sees them, living alone

In her happy place in her head,

And she just continues walking, walking ahead.

Not does she bother to look back,

To look at the people she leaves behind,

Nor does she slow her pace,

The amazing woman living her life,

She.

what

I don't know what to do,

what to think,

how to feel.

I don't know what to say,

what to decide

how to think.

I don't know who I am,

who you are,

what we were.

How to stop these things from happening,

and not care about the world.

I hope to feel your warmth one day,

your arms tightly embracing me.

Telling me that everything will be fine,

not to worry.

But it wont.

Victim

Whisper,
But don't talk.

Caress,
But don't touch.

Gaze,
But close your eyes.

Resistance,
None.

My hands trace along the lines of your body
My prey
So innocent
So alone.

Your perfect skin reacts to the touch
The hair on your arms, legs
Disobeying the laws of gravity
And you shiver

Bite your lip
Whisper, moan my name
Desperately trying to touch my body
And you fail

My lips shortly on yours
In your neck
Your ears
I smile

And somehow you escape my thoughts
Overpower my little game
Me, a willing victim in the darkness
Under your greedy control.