Valentijnsdag, de dag der verplichtingen.

het on-overtroffen, verwachte gevoel dat iedereen krijgt als de tijd van Valentijn weer nabij is, De hoop dat iemand toch nog een kaartje of een roos zal krijgen, is gewoon een gevoel omdat Valentijn toevallig vast in het rooster staat. Net als vakantie, als je weet dat je binnen twee weken vakantie heb, dan ga je er naar verlangen en wil je alleen maar meer. Het idee van een Valentijn op Valentijnsdag is natuurlijk perfect, de nationale dag der liefde delen met de persoon van wie jij denkt die perfect is, is alleen maar wonderbaarlijk. Als ze de klas binnen komen met een roos speciaal voor jou, of als je thuis komt en er ligt zo'n roze envelop op je te wachten, klaar om jou zijn mooiste, zoetste en liefste woorden te onthullen is de droom van elk meisje. En dan vraag ik me af, hoe zou dat zijn bij jongens? Valentijnsdag als verplichting, of echt als een gevoel? Als in alle films, waar mannen opeens op miraculeuse wijze tóch nog, op het laatste moment natuurlijk, verliefd worden op het meisje die zo overdreven droomt over haar dwarrelende gevoel, en haar zijn liefde laat zien, dan zou alles anders zijn.
Stel, iedere jongen was Ashton Kutcher en liet zijn rozen vallen in het water voor dat ene speciale meisje, was de wereld toch bijna wel perfect. Maar ik denk, dat de liefde van mannen, ook op valentijnsdag, niet verder gaat dan de voetbal die heen en weer rolt en vliegt tussen Real Madrid en Barcelona, niet verder gaat als de gulp die misschien wel open staat en vooral niet verder gaat als het schouder ophalen naar weer zo'n aanhankelijk meisje die hunkert naar aandacht van de man.
Maar, omdat het in het rooster staat, net als vakantie, blijft het toch een speciale dag. Een dag die echt verliefde stellen misschien wel elke dag beleven, maar op 14 februari toch wel een beetje een verplichting word.
Dus, wie kies jij?

luck

There we went
Together
Told me to sleep on your shoulder
And we arrived

Somewhere new
Invisible
City of dreams without limits
Together, head to shoulder

Gentle breeze of your breath
Comforting
Your soft, male voice in my ear
There is no time

But then I lose you
Uncontrolled
See you walk away
And I shock

Open my eyes
Gasping
As I turn my head,
Eyes filled with tears

Realise it was just a dream
Fortunately
And we're still here
Side by side.

fact

i always feel like Im not needed
that everyone can make it without me
and it is true,
life's just an addition to someone else's.

then stop trying
eventhough its hard
because where will they be
if you need them some day?

happening

From the corner of my eye
I saw your glance
When being in the middle of all people
You made my understand

drove me crazy
made me go wild
and it was not just the alcohol
But this was what we both have ubderstand

Will never forget the memory
will never forget the feeling
but will close my mouth
and keep the urge within

dont say there aren't any people
desperate for their need
Trying to combine theirs with mine
but I don't feel it

what I saw
was something I can live on
Months, years, hours, seconds
eventhough you didn't mean it.

girls are sensitive
and so am I.
never will I change that thing
that is, and always be mine.

love? no.
Just for one night.
As quick as it came
It was gone, out of sight.

doubtful

the never ending search
for the hidden scar deep inside
makes the process
a miracle, tonight.

a night filled with stars
hiding behind big, furry clouds
thats how much I love you
thats how hard I shout.

because the fingers of the trees
join the merciless fall of water
and the grass obeys
to the heavy pressure of pain

Animals keep on running
miles and miles away
hiding for the fear
that a predator might, make them prey.

because I'm the predator
and you're my prey
faster than the winds I will run
fall, but never say

I will, in the end get you
for now or some day else
try to make you feel
how I feel, about you now.

pronounce my feelings
in such a way
You could understand them
and make you stay

I thought nothing was impossible
But in fact this one is
You wanted to make the best of it
But I, didn't want to stay.

Im scared of my feelings
Im scared to show me
your hand was so close
but too far, to reach me

and now Im running
just like the animals did
hiding for whats left to come
my feelings will conquer me

make me the ugliest ruin
that will ever exist
but I wont show it
just like you once did

Never will you come back to me
or never shall I return
we both will be thinking
of the time that we once burned

thoughts

They always know how to get you. smash you against the wall and kick you in your belly. twist your arm that its broken. they make you feel miserable, alone. no one to help and no one to see. helpless like a young fox caugt by some merciless beast ready to kill. at the moment you think help is gone, no one left to safe you and you think life ends, something, someone, is just on time to rescue you from a death that is so horrible that no one ever wants to die in such a way too. ruthless killers, broken smiles.
there the angel steps in, and im not saying god is my religion, but its true. at the mment of total desperation nature's defence systems shake of the dust and roll out their paws. they will help you survive. hard work, total exhaustion, its worth it.
my defence rolled out and stepped up the last month. two people I know died, one close related person got sick and I got thrown away by some fool who thought my issues were not important enough to solve. but I got defence. it stretched and saved my tears, pain, and made me feel good again. Love came by, and decided to stay for a little while, who knows for how long.
but this life is celebration. its designed to smile, designed to party. Designed to enjoy the smaller things, but also the greater ones. The nature of living will always stay and we'rust predators, fighting to survive. We will survive. Whether if its alone, together, dead or alive, we'll make it. and there's no one to stop me.
for now and forever we'll smile. and never surrender.
amen.

burried

While death continues
Our soles are bare
No words to describe
The loss we bear.

And I dont understand
Why this is real
Our life
But Their death.

The most amazing people in the world
Seem to lose everytime
Unexpected,
undefined.

The joy of life is gone
No one to understand
That death came too quickly
Give them back, I goddamn demand.

They once made my world
And now its broken
No smile, no tear,
There's no life without you, I swear.

You, you should be right here
Standing next to me
There wouldnt be a tear,
There'd just be an amazing smile.

Dark ages are the boss of life now
I wont ever be able to see
How i changed, you changed
How we changed.

Im locked up
Got a life long detention
But I dont mind
Because I just dont understand.